my glinting reflection on a bloodied blade
is it a hallucination?
forged for the sake of preservation
the jagged streaks it traced,
faint reminders of crude hatred and sadness

a figment of the past becomes apparent
stifled whimpers, in a high-pitched tone
then, embodied fear and resentment
i stand in front of it, recalling more
tissue damaged by the blade,
that nauseating afterimage
a quavering voice calls me:
"can you see me?"
hesitant, i answer the distress call:
"i do"

"are you still alive? please tell me"
i do nothing, im not sure
through the sea of the unconscious,
the flowing water glistens with our motion
a lively show, just for us two
"are you doing it? are you gonna jump?"
i wish i could, i wish i were a bird
fly far away from here, i wish it wouldnt hurt
if i were to,
would they learn?

"please dont go! listen to me, i beg you!"
meaningless vocal chords
but thats a lesson i learned later on
its dampened eyes, red by ignorance
dont cry, little boy
its what they drilled into our heads
a venom deep inside our own brains
upon clinical sight, they deem us deviations
if they could carve my flesh,
they wouldnt doubt once nor twice

"why can't you understand?"
its a self-destructive cycle
a blight rooted in my very heart
no matter how many times im reborn,
the sea will swallow me whole
the sin of grasping the artificial fruit

a dull blade,

seems to regain its edge

as you crave solace,

embrace its resolution

on its cold dead body,

a shape takes form

what do i see...?

i think...

i think it is...

a simulacrum of blue hues
an illusion of beckoning echoes
come in, as you are
but its all a lie
discern
the chimeras from the real
how can you,
if you are no more than an automatic function?

blue trails guide me to a coordinate
where are you, red blazes?
so i can fill my mechanical heart
i find no heat in the cinders left behind
appalled by this newfound anomaly
i start to quiver and escape
the visions of panic,
can they save me from this meaningless repetition?

a faulty ideal implanted in the circuitry
a zero-day in the arrangement of variables
how can you become what you wish,
if you were conceived this way?
try tracing meaningless lines in the skies
override the automated junction
turn them into organic vitals
can you overwrite the electric impulses with memories?

the chorus sent by black stars
a message left in the sand
i run, seeking a constant hidden beneath
as the sun sets,
i feel the coldness invading my senses
i reach for the apparent answer,
but i find no more than a blue heartbeat
a simulacrum, perfected

can you hate the beast that bites your hand
if it bites out of blind rage
red nature, so cruel
let the weak bleed and the thorns sink in

can you hate the bird that flies away
if it breaks free from its cage
black crow, grow wings
let my gills spill tears from your true will

can you hate your soul for longing death
if it glistens crimson as blood
can you pretend to be blind to your mind
if youre also beast as much as man

what is left
if my wings are cold and frail
and my body is bruised and warm
let me be worm food

if the bright blade means spare
let it become black
sink it in my chest
let the rabid dogs feed from my flesh

and if the blue moon shines over the glade
and the bugs have forgotten my name
nothing is left
let me be worm food